Persona in Progress

Sometimes, the most beautiful friendships bloom in the strangest circumstances

I take my friendships seriously. After all, friends are the family you get to choose, and let me tell you, I have some absolute gems in my corner. But I’ve also noticed that friendships, like seasons, can fade if you let them. The ones that last are the ones where both people keep showing up, and a recent discovery reminded me just how true that is.

I was doing some cleaning out at home. There was a pile of stationery accumulating, and I finally sat down this past weekend to declutter. While organising my colourful notebooks, I came across a faded post-it that was taped on my desk.

This affirmation filled post-it was written in January 2024. I was in between jobs, miserable and exhausted. I had just opened the nth rejection letter from yet another job I really wanted. I felt my eyes well up and I called my dear friend. She patiently listened as I poured my heart out. I was bruised, battered, and my spirit was breaking. After she let me cry it out, she asked me to grab a pen and post-it and write down a list of affirmations. I was too exhausted to even question it, and I obediently began writing out a list of positive “I am’s” that began with “I AM intelligent.” She then instructed that I tape this to my laptop and read it every morning. She had a meeting to rush to, so I was left to my own thoughts. The rest of the day moved in a blur. I made myself a cup of tea and then went straight to bed.

The following day, I started the process of job applications again. While waiting for my emails to load, I glanced at the post-it and rolled my eyes. I recall thinking, “This is silly, why did she even make me do this?” I sent her a text and shared my dubious thoughts. She responded with “Delulu, my dear.” I was flabbergasted. What nonsense was this now? I chuckled at her flippant attitude and went about my day.

Later that week when we caught up on the phone, I voiced my fears once more. She patiently allowed me to share my sentiments and then asked me to read the list of affirmations out loud back to her. I started on a shaky note and then asked her, what’s the point? She giggled and exclaimed, “But delulu is the solulu, trust me on this.” She then launched into a speech about the Gen Z saying that essentially focuses on manifesting good things. I challenged her and said, “I understand the concept, but I just don’t FEEL positive.” I was grappling with feeling like a fraud. I didn’t feel intelligent or passionate at that moment and was battling to read these affirmations with conviction. She told me to stick with it and just pretend. She eventually launched into a wonderful fantasy where we would be clinking champagne glasses when I landed a new job and put my marvellous mind to good use. We ended the call giggling about how we’d go on a shopping spree, and my heart felt a tiny bit lighter.

Fast forward a couple of months, and I was accepting an offer. Things were falling into place. She called me in my first week and proudly said, “I told you so!” I remember smiling in confusion as she harped on about the power of being “delulu.” If I’m honest, I was still uncertain about my feelings towards the role, but her happiness was contagious. She has celebrated my wins, losses, and the “in between” moments over the years, all while being unapologetically “delulu.”

Our friendship has withstood many winters because we make an active effort to connect with each other. She has celebrated my wins enthusiastically and held my hand quietly through the losses.

Recently, she sent me a cryptic message and asked if she could “talk it out.” When we eventually got hold of each other, she sounded deflated. She breathed a heavy sigh and just cried. She was worried she wasn’t able to “do it all.” I listened to her while she shared her frustration about her new role and realised she just needed a safe space to vent. I found myself feeling a sense of déjà vu as she voiced similar fears that I had voiced to her a couple of years ago. I helped her with a “mini action plan” and promised that it would be better. She reluctantly agreed with my vote of confidence. Later that evening, I found the faded post-it note and sent her a picture of it. I asked her to channel our mantra of being “delulu” and gave her instructions to write the same affirmations and tape them somewhere visible. We ended up reminiscing about how far we had both come since that day and promised to be more “delulu,” even if we had to give an Oscar-winning performance.

Looking back, it’s funny how a friendship that started as an unlikely pairing has become one of the steadiest threads in my life. The winters we’ve weathered together, hers and mine, are proof that showing up for each other is what makes a friendship bloom, even in the strangest circumstances.

I used to think “delulu” was just her quirky way of getting me through a rough patch. Now I catch myself repeating it, not just to comfort her, but to talk myself into believing in my own magic. Maybe that’s the real lesson: manifesting isn’t about pretending everything is fine, it’s about choosing to keep showing up, one affirmation, one post-it, one phone call at a time, until you actually start to believe it.

So here’s to being delulu. Here’s to sticky notes and stubborn hope. And here’s to the friendships that stick around long enough to remind you who you are, even when you’ve forgotten.